The Birth Pangs of Self Realization

As I sit on my flight waiting to touch down I was giving some thought to “where to from here” in respects my career, my sense of contribution to the world, and how I wish to “be”. I am sure like so many of us, I had buried my true desires of what I had hoped to accomplish or be for fear of ridicule or failure, if fact I had buried them so deep I wasn’t aware of what they were anymore. I had invested much of life repressing these desires, the desire to be someone who lives in the flow of their own personal genius, partial due to the messages I had received growing up and once I was convinced that the message were correct, I had spent the rest of my life proving them right. Crazy isn’t it!

20 years ago I purchased my first set of “personal development” audio cd’s from Tony Robbins called “Get the Edge”, and I listened to them in my car every day for months and months. I loved his message but I wanted to know more. I have this issue you see, I hate ambiguity, and when someone says something is so, I need to know what it is so. Tony Robbins spurred my interest so that I purchased several of his books and was introduced to the science of NLP,(neuro linguistic programing) and I started to unearth the mechanics of thoughts, beliefs and why we do what we do. From there I started to add a more spiritual element to my studies and Dr. Wayne Dyer came along and sat in my heart and started to help me understand the subtle aspects of personal development. I love the mechanics of how things work but I also needed, as I believe we all do, to have belief in something more powerful than our simple human existence. One of his books, which I listened to on audio cd, “the power of intention”, created that space for me to understand my relationship to god, spirit, the universe, magic, simply the incredible power that exist all around us. I must have listened to that series every day for three years. Dr. Dyer inspired me to dream a bit more rather than to simply “think” about things, to evoke that creative process where all divine inspiration comes as a result of us being open to the possibility of something new, grand but not necessarily in our control. I was instructed to be “open” to the possibilities, not to try to be in control, which is a fool’s errand anyway, for we try to control our environment we strangle our self-expression.

This has been exceedingly hard for me to do I must admit, and the journey of growth has seemingly been as traumatic as going from the warmth and comfort of our mothers womb and being forced out into the glaring light, noise and confusion of the outside world. But slowly as life marches on I am learning to surrender to what is possible, and trust not only that things can and will work out for me and those I love, but more so that if I create the space in my heart and mind and “allow” good things to bestow their gifts on my life I can have a life that will be rich with love, friends, abundance and purpose. I have also begun to let go of the beliefs that others have bestowed on me and am beginning to let go of my own misinterpretations and stories of my past. The famous quote by Marianne Williamson in her book “Return to Love” offers all of us the mindset of “why not me”, why not happiness, love and purpose in my life? This year and beyond will prove to full of great milestones and amazing stories of love, triumph and abundance for all who choose to open themselves up to the possibilities of a life well lived.

C. David Gilks Your Fellow Traveler